JONATHAN CORMUR: Hello Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur and you're listening to Dorktales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups, and this is one of our anything-is-possible lore stories.
THEME SONG: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tail, so let us regale you.
(A sparkling, twinkling sound.)
HESPER: Ahh. Nighttime.
VESPER: The best time of all the times!
HESPER: Stars are in the sky! Crickets are singing in the forest!
VESPER: The moon is shining bright like the most magnificent nightlight in all the land.
HESPER: Everything is simply perfect. Don’t you agree, Vesper?
VESPER: Oh absolutely, Hesper.
HESPER: I just love the Folktale Forest when it’s quiet and cozy like this. (Sighs) Pure bliss!
VESPER: Blissful indeed…er…but before we get carried away, perhaps we should introduce ourselves?
HESPER: Oh! Yes! Of course! We’re always getting carried away aren’t we dear?
VESPER: Easy to do when we have wings!
HESPER: So true! We just fly right off on any old whim, up into the beautiful, tall pine trees. Don’t you just love the smell of pine?
VESPER: (Clears throat) Uh…Hesper?
HESPER: Yes, Vesper?
VESPER: The…uh… introductions?
HESPER: Oh! Right! Yes! Of course. Hello friends! My name is, Hesper. I’m the Fairy of the Evening Star here in the land of Once Upon a Time. I use magical stardust to make sure restful sleep and wondrous dreams reach all the critters and creatures who call this place home.
VESPER: And I’m Hesper’s moth companion, Vesper! And I have magic too!
HESPER: That you are and that you do, Vesper!
VESPER: I mean…I can talk!
HESPER: A talking moth, what could be more magical?
VESPER: That’s what I’m saying!
HESPER: Anywho, we’re about to go on a classic nighttime journey.
VESPER: We’re visiting some of the Folktale Forest homes–
HESPER: To send folks off to the land of dreams!
VESPER: And we thought we’d bring you along so you can learn about how our friends tuck themselves in for a good night’s rest.
HESPER: So join us on our nightly routine–
VESPER: And enjoy these sights that often go unseen!
HESPER: Vesper! We rhymed!
VESPER: Hesper! What a time!
HESPER: Oooo we did it again!
VESPER: (Uncertain) Like poets with…pens? Nah, I’m out.
HESPER: Ah well. Then let’s not dillydally any further! (Add sound effects for each step of the spell)Just one swoosh of the hands and a little spin and blink twice and wiggle the ears and —
(The sparkling, twinkling sound.)
We’ve arrived!
REDGE: Ahh!
HESPER: Ohhh!
VESPER: Hi!
REDGE: Hesper! Vesper! You're in my burrow!
HESPER: (Laughs nervously) My apologies, Redge. I meant to land outside your door, but I suppose I wiggled my ears thrice instead of twice! Silly me!
VESPER: Sometimes Hesper gets excited and forgets she only needs two ear wiggles.
REDGE: Not a problem friends. Now that the initial shock has worn off…it’s lovely to see you tonight! Normally you fly by, shower my door with stardust, and then zip along to the next abode.
VESPER: That sounds like us.
REDGE: To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?
VESPER: We were wondering if we could ask you a question.
REDGE: Of course, ask away. I’m an open book!
HESPER: Reginald, what’s your bedtime ritual?
REDGE: Oooo! Let’s see… normally hedgehogs like me are nocturnal, which means we only come out at nighttime.
VESPER: Like us!
REDGE: Right! However, I’ve gotten onto the same schedule as my best friend who’s a human. Plus, I’ve always wanted to experience nighttime sleeping!
HESPER: What an adventure!
REDGE: Agreed! And I LOVE adventure. Ahem, anyways. First, I make myself a mug of tea. Here, I’ll pour you some!
HESPER: Mmmmm, peppermint.
REDGE: Then I turn on one of my favorite tunes and sing while I tidy up my burrow.
HESPER: We do love to sing before bed!
VESPER: Yeah! We harmonize!
REDGE: After my evening song, I make sure to call Jonathan and tell him to have “cool dreams!”
HESPER: Cool dreams?
REDGE: That’s right! You see, I’m a pretty cool hedgehog.
HESPER: Quite cool.
REDGE: And as a cool hedgehog, you may not be surprised to learn that I have cool dreams.
HESPER: That makes perfect sense to me.
REDGE: And I want everyone’s dreams to be super cool too!
VESPER: A cool dream…is that like a dream where you’re sailing across the ocean on the back of a great blue whale?
REDGE: While wearing sunglasses!
HESPER: Or soaring in cotton candy clouds next to a hawk with emerald green feathers!
VESPER: Or exploring mystical caves with glowing vines and mushrooms and crystals!
HESPER: Ooo good one!
REDGE: Indeed! Those are some super cool dreams!
HESPER: Splendid.
REDGE: After our nightly cool dreams exchange, I put on my coziest pjs and sleeping cap.
VESPER: A must.
REDGE: I tuck myself into my cozy bed of leaves and moss. And just before I drift off to sleep, you fly by my door and shower it with stardust.
VESPER: Just doing our jobs, Mr. Redge.
REDGE: And I salute you!
HESPER: Thank you for giving us this little sneak peek, Reginald!
REDGE: My pleasure, Hesper!
HESPER: Now…tell me in detail how you forage for your tea leaves!
VESPER: Uh…Hesper? We should probably fly off to our next destination. It’s getting late!
HESPER: Ah yes! Another time then. Bye, bye for now Reginald!
REDGE: See you tomorrow night, my friends!
HESPER: A parting gift of some stardust, and away we go!
(The sparkling, twinkling sound.)
VESPER: Where have we landed now, Hesper?
HESPER: In the tree next to the house of resident storyteller and Redge’s best friend, Jonathan!
VESPER: Near a sparrow’s nest, it seems!
HESPER: Yes! This is the nest of Acorn & Petal Twernt and their delightful flock of birdies. Come settle on my shoulder and let’s listen in!
VESPER: Oooo, I’m so excited to observe how they wind down for bed…
(The sound of tweeting birds)
ACORN: Now, now, quiet down little ones! We’ve read your bedtime story and now it’s time to tuck in your wings.
PETAL: That’s right, settle your feathers.
ACORN: Bud, why don’t you join your parents on behalf of your siblings for the traditional Twernt goodnight.
BUD: Ok dad!
(The sound of tweeting birds)
BUD: I love you.
ACORN: I love you too!
BUD: I love you three!
ACORN: I love you forever!
(The sound of tweeting birds)
PETAL: Now sleep soundly little ones! We’ll see you in the morning. Early bird gets the worm and all that.
ACORN: Oh Petal!
(Acorn chuckles and the sound of tweeting birds)
HESPER: (Sniffling) Well. That’s….that’s…that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
VESPER: And we’ve seen stars up close!
HESPER: We’ve been to the moon!
VESPER: Hey, Hesper, look! Jonathan’s light is on! Maybe he’ll tell us his bedtime routines too!
HESPER: A marvelous idea. Let me just sprinkle some stardust on this nest…and then… do some swooshes with the hands -
VESPER: Uh…Hesper…
HESPER: A spin or two or three!
VESPER: We could also just…um….fly down to the door instead of casting a spell?
HESPER: Nonsense, Vesper. Now, wiggle the ears!
VESPER: Only twice, right? Right?
HESPER: And…
(The sparkling, twinkling sound.)
JONATHAN: Ahhh!
HESPER: Oops!
VESPER: She wiggled her ears three times!
JONATHAN: Oh! Um. Well, hello Hesper and Vesper!
HESPER: Apologies for barging in, Jonathan. I suppose Vesper was right!
VESPER: I said we should use the door.
JONATHAN: No problem! Welcome in! It’s good to see you both.
HESPER: Why thank you!
VESPER: We’re on a little tour of the Folktale Forest right now, learning about how all the creature-folk settle in for sleep.
JONATHAN: That sounds delightful!
HESPER: Would you tell us about your bedtime rituals?
JONATHAN: Let’s see…bedtime rituals…Redge will probably be calling soon to wish me ‘cool dreams’!
VESPER: That’s right! He told us all about that tradition.
JONATHAN: Well if he told you about that…Maybe I can tell you about what I used to do with my parents when I was growing up!
HESPER: Oh please! Do tell!
JONATHAN: Well, my mom would start with ‘Night, night, sleep tight, whatcha gonna dream about tonight?’ And then my sister and I would say:
“Marshmallow mountains
Purple people eaters
Chocolate milk rivers
Cupcake Hills
Gumdrop trees
Licorice lampposts
Jellybean rocks
And oomphah loompahs!”
VESPER: Jelly bean rocks!
HESPER: Delicious!
JONATHAN: Led to some very sweet dreams, that’s for sure.
HESPER: And what about your father?
JONATHAN: He would say “night, night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite, and if they bite?”
VESPER: Fly into the air and then karate chop them!
HESPER: Wiggle your ears thrice and magically escape!
JONATHAN: Both good answers! But we would say “bite ‘em back!”
VESPER: Simple.
HESPER: Elegant!
VESPER: I love it! Bite ‘em back!
JONATHAN: And we would always, always read a good story before bed. Which I still do today!
HESPER: An absolute must!
(The sound of a ringing phone)
JONATHAN: Oh… I hate to be rude when I have guests, but that’s probably Redge calling to wish me cool dreams!
HESPER: Do not worry in the slightest. We will throw some stardust on your door and zip away to our next destination!
JONATHAN: It was great to see you!
VESPER: You too Jonathan!
HESPER: Have a magical evening!
(The sparkling, twinkling sound.)
VESPER: This has been so amazing!
HESPER: A lovely adventure through the starry forest.
DOEREEN: Alright little Fawna, are you ready for bed?
VESPER: Hesper! Look over in that little clearing! It’s Doereen Freckles and her daughter Fawna Freckles!
HESPER: A lovely family of deer saying their goodnights for the evening, surrounded by blinking fireflies. What a sight to behold!
DOEREEN: All tucked into the ferns, cozy and warm? Good. So all that’s left to do is blow out the lights. Ready? One…two…three!
(Little popping sounds like lights going out)
VESPER: Awww!
HESPER: She shoed away the fireflies to make it seem like Fawna was blowing out the lights!
VESPER: I didn’t know there would be so many sweet bedtime traditions.
HESPER: Like those mice companions down in that hollow! They’re making wishes on the stars before heading off to sleep!
VESPER: And that bunny in the hollow next door is reading a book of peaceful poems!
HESPER: (Sighs) It’s all so lovely, isn’t it? But it’s probably time for us to get back to work, flying about and sprinkling more stardust across the land.
VESPER: Very true, Hesper. Thank you to all of our friends who listened in with us!
HESPER: We hope you enjoy your own cozy bedtime rituals.
VESPER: And remember, we’ll always be by to sprinkle some stardust on your door for the coolest dreams-
HESPER: And the sweetest sleep! Just need one swoosh of the hands -
VESPER: -and a little spin
HESPER: -and blink thrice
VESPER: Oh uh! Twice!
HESPER: Yes thrice!
VESPER: Oh dear…
HESPER: And away we go!!
(The sparkling, twinkling sound.)
Lullaby Lyrics Written and Performed by Molly Murphy
When the sky's filled with stars
The crickets are singing
And owls sneak out of their beds
The evening's grown late
Heavy eyes, blinking
And telling you to rest your head
Time to say cool dreams, goodnight
And sleep til the morning time
As we doze off
dancing in our thoughts
Marshmallow mountains and jellybean rocks
Bees in cowboy hats, and tap-dancing bats
Chocolate milk rivers rushing and rolling fast
And far beyond where we can see
A magical land, so soft and so sweet
Night, night
Sleep tight
Don't let the bedbugs bite!
Night Night
Turn out the light and
Sleep tight, sleep tight
JONATHAN CORMUR: This has been a Jonincharacter production. Today’s story was written and produced by Molly Murphy. Special thanks to Molly Murphy who performed the character Hesper, the fairy of the evening star. All other characters were performed by Jonathan Cormur. The song ‘Once Upon a Lullaby’ was written, produced and performed by Molly Murphy and mastered by Jermaine Hamilton. Sound recording and production for the episode by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studio Recordings. You can find links in the show notes. Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time.
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