Dorktales Storytime
Be the hero of your own story with Dorktales Storytime, the award-winning podcast for kids and their pop culture loving grownups. Enter their Once Upon a Time world where hosts, Jonathan Cormur and Mr. Reginald T. Hedgehog, take you on a storytelling journey of curiosity and acceptance. You’ll explore reimagined fairytales and fables with social emotional themes, discover inspiring stories of history’s hidden heroes, and experience imaginary tales of boundless possibilities.
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Dorktales Storytime
Operation Golden Tie - A Spy Adventure for Kids
Your mission—should you choose to accept it—is to follow agents Jack A. Lope and Double-Oh-Quills on their action-packed spy-tacular adventure! When the meanie minotaur, Bull Dozer, steals Niko the Unicorn’s magical golden bow tie, it’s up to the quirky agents to retrieve it before all of Legend Lake falls into chaos. Armed with cool spy gadgets, clever disguises and their own good sense, they race against time to outsmart the baddies and save unicorn magic.
Episode webpage: https://jonincharacter.com/operation-golden-tie/
GRAB YOUR FREE PDF LIST of conversation questions for this kids' story: https://dorktalesstorytime.aweb.page/ep96freePDF
PARENTS, TEACHERS AND HOMESCHOOLERS: This Dorktales story for kids is a Saturday morning cartoon-like spy adventure that speaks to the magic of our imaginations. Some of the key lessons from this story include: the power of teamwork, creative problem solving, trust and supportive friendships, clear communication, resilience and perseverance, and the joys of pretending. (Aligns with CASEL Social and Emotional learning framework)
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS KIDS & FAMILY STORY, give the mythological adventure to Legend Lake EP83 Bigfoot’s Legendary Birdsong a listen: https://jonincharacter.com/bigfoots-legendary-birdsong/
CREDITS: This episode has been a Jonincharacter production. Today’s story was written and produced by Molly Murphy and performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studio Recordings
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Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
JONATHAN CORMUR: Hello Dork Squad. I'm Jonathan Cormur and you're listening to Dorktales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups, and this is one of our anything-is-possible lore stories.
THEME SONG: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure and glory, new friends and old ones too. It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tail, so let us regale you.
JACK: The name’s Lope. Jack A. Lope.
REDGE: And I’m Hedgehog. Reginald T. Hedgehog. But you may know me as…Double-Oh-Quills.
JACK: You’re currently listening to a recording of our most recent mission: Operation Golden Tie.
REDGE: At the end of this transmission, the device you’re using will spit out exactly 176 bubbles and the recording will float away, so listen closely…
JACK: Operation Golden Tie all started on an otherwise normal day. We were basking in the sun by Legend Lake when Agent M called us into his office…
MOTHMAN: Good morning, agents.
REDGE: Good morning, Mothman!
MOTHMAN: Uh… Agent Quills? You…don’t have to respond while I’m giving you a mission repor–
REDGE: How’s your day going?
JACK: Also Redge, Mothman likes to go by Agent M when he’s giving out mission assignments. Remember?
REDGE: OH! Right. Yes, of course. Ahem. How’s your day going, Agent M?
MOTHMAN: …Pretty good so far. (Clears throat) Now! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find the secret lab of the Meanie Minotaur…The Scorned with the Horns…
JACK: Wait…it can’t possibly be…
MOTHMAN: It is.
JACK: Bull Dozer!
MOTHMAN: That’s right.
REDGE: Who is Bull Dozer?
JACK: He’s my sworn enemy, one of the fiercest bad guys on the block.
REDGE: Whatever has he done?
JACK: He’s known for stealing very important objects from the creatures of Legend Lake and hoarding them all for himself!
MOTHMAN: And he’s done it again. It appears he’s taken…Niko’s Golden Bow Tie.
REDGE: Niko the Unicorn? The nicest unicorn you’ll ever meet? And the snappiest dresser! How dreadful that her tie has been snatched!
JACK: You don’t know the half of it, Quills. Niko is the protector of all unicorn magic. When she uses the bow tie, it creates a golden, sparkling path through the woods around Legend Lake.
MOTHMAN: And that path leads you straight to the Very Big and Very Secret Book of Unicorn Magic!
REDGE: We have to retrieve that tie!
MOTHMAN: Happy to hear you say that Agent Quills, because Operation Golden Tie is being put in your capable paws. You’ll have to leave as soon as possible to catch up with Mr. Dozer before he uses that tie. I’m sending you both to Agent Kit right away.
REDGE: Wait, does that mean what I think it means?
MOTHMAN: That depends…what do you think it means, Double-Oh-Quills?
REDGE: That we get…fancy spy gear?!
JACK: You can’t expect us to complete Operation Golden Tie without Kit’s top-of-the-line spy gear!
REDGE: Oooo marvelous! Let’s go help save unicorn magic!
REDGE: I’m so delighted you’ve asked me to accompany you for the day, Jack. It’s given me a chance to bust out my Double-Oh-Quills spy suit.
JACK: You are the perfect hedgehog for the job. No one knows the importance of magic more than you.
REDGE: I am a great appreciator of all magics, this is true. Now, where do we find this Agent Kit?
JACK: Just have to turn around this corner…walk a little further down the hall…second doorway on the right and…voila! Kit’s laboratory.
REDGE: Wow! There are gadgets everywhere. Shelves full of them!
JACK: This room is packed with the latest and greatest spy tech. Best part of the job if you ask me.
REDGE: Eee I am so excited to see what this does! Oh and this one! And this!
JACK: Kit’s the best in the business! Now I wonder where she’s gone off to–
KIT: Watch out! Fox with nine tails coming through! Make some room!
JACK/REDGE: Woah!
REDGE: You must be Kit. My name is–
KIT: Step back! Important experiment happening and must get every…thing…perfect…
REDGE: Oooo what does this do—
KIT: Don’t touch anything! I’ve achieved a perfect equilibrium with this device and we mustn’t knock one screw or spring or button out of place.
REDGE: Understood!
(A few seconds of the sounds of Kit tinkering with a machine)
KIT: Just a few more seconds now…and…
(The sound of a ding, like when an oven timer goes off)
REDGE: Oh…my…
JACK: Cheese!
KIT: That’s right boys. I’ve finally done it. I’ve made the perfect grilled cheese.
REDGE: It…it’s…beautiful.
KIT: (Sigh) Ain’t it great? (Takes bite and with mouth full) And delicious! Anyways, what can I do you for?
REDGE: We’re here on Agent M’s orders.
JACK: Looking for some gear to help us complete Operation Golden Tie.
KIT: I see, I see. Well, intelligence came through not too long ago that Bull Dozer and his henchman Gryph the Griffon are taking to the skies in their flying lair.
JACK: Labyrinth!
REDGE: Huh?
JACK: Labyrinth is the name of Bull Dozer’s ship.
REDGE: They have a lair in the sky?! That’s pretty cool.
JACK: It is. But if they take off before we arrive how will we get on that ship?
KIT: Lucky for you two, you’ve got me. Voila! The Propeller Hat. Follow me to my Super Spy Computational Device. (Some beeps and boops) Here is the map of the course Labyrinth has set in the sky. That’s where this comes in.
JACK: The propeller hat?
KIT: And your superior hopping skills Mr. Jack A. Lope. The hat is made specifically to accommodate your ears and antlers. All you have to do is grab double-o-Quills, throw on the hat, and leap into the air while he triggers the propeller.
JACK: That’s all, huh?
KIT: That’s all!
REDGE: Ooo! What does this watch do?
KIT: It tells time.
REDGE: Oh. Hehe. Of course.
KIT: But THESE watches!
REDGE: I just knew you’d have super secret cool spy watches!
KIT: Of course! This is one of my new inventions - The Watch Face. Click over here on the side and a holographic disguise will project in front of you. Should help you get out of a sticky situation. The Watch Face is built to buy you some time.
JACK: Looks great on you Quills!
REDGE: And you, Jack!
KIT: Next up…here’s a couple of pencils! Can never be caught without a pencil.
JACK: Looks…nice.
REDGE: Useful!
JACK: Very useful.
REDGE: I love taking notes!
KIT: (Laughing) You should…see your faces! Thinking I’m giving you…just…a normal pencil…haha!
JACK: So it’s not a normal pencil?
KIT: Of course not! Click that eraser.
(A funny springing sound)
REDGE: Look at all of the gadgets that sprung out of the pencil!
KIT: A multitool hidden in plain sight! Great for picking any lock you may come across on your mission.
REDGE: Oh fabulous!
JACK: We are breaking into Bull Dozer’s top-secret flying lair. I’m sure we’ll need to unlock many doors.
KIT: You know it! But you better stop chatting and start dashing. Take these glasses, I will dispatch the Labyrinth’s blueprints straight to the microchip I installed inside the frames.
REDGE: Spy glasses! You really think of everything!
KIT: Lucky for you, I’m always nine steps ahead.
Now don’t just stand there! Get going!
JACK: I see the ship just up there! It’s racing for cloud cover! We have to get to it before it disappears!
REDGE: Put on the hat, Jack! The propeller hat!
JACK: Right! Hat on!
REDGE: Let me leap into your arms!
(The sound of a cartoonish hop)
JACK: Are you ready to spin the propeller?
REDGE: Ready!
JACK: Let’s go!
(The sound of a big, cartoonish leap, followed by propellers)
REDGE: We’re flying! We’re flying!
JACK: Hold on tight Double-Oh-Quills. Labyrinth is just ahead!
REDGE: There is a hatch at the bottom. How will we break into that steal?
JACK: Perhaps the pencil!
REDGE: Jack this is hardly the time to write a note!
JACK: I’m talking about Kit’s pencil.
REDGE: OH! Of course. Let me fish it out of my pocket and hit the eraser-OOPS! Almost dropped it.
JACK: Redge?!
REDGE: No worries, caught it just in time! (nervous laughter) Ok let’s see this has a standard lock pick, deluxe lock pick, toothpick…
JACK: Redge we’re getting closer…
REDGE: No none of those. Tiny hammer, measuring tape, egg timer…
JACK: Redge! We’re about to hit the bottom of the ship!
REDGE: Bookmark, reading light, mini video game controller…aha! Laser!
JACK: Just in time, Double-Oh-Quills! We’re at the hatch. Quick, cut an entrance into the ship!
REDGE: Engaging the laser!
(The sound of a laser)
REDGE: We did it! We’ve boarded Labyrinth.
JACK: One step closer to finding that tie. According to the schematics that Kit sent to our glasses, Bull Dozer’s main lab is down that hallway.
REDGE: Time to activate STEALTH MODE.
JACK: What’s that?
…Agent Quills, Agent Quills, where did you go?
(The sound of cartoony, scurrying tiptoes)
REDGE: Pssst I’m over here!
JACK: Ah! On my way!
(The sound of cartoony, scurrying tiptoes)
You’re moving very quickly and quietly Agent Quills.
REDGE: STEALTH MODE.
JACK: Let’s keep going!
REDGE: We have to go through the engine room. And it is full of goblins.
JACK: How do you know that?
REDGE: Look around this corner.
(The sound of tools and tinkering - like a bustling engine room)
JACK: The place is packed!
REDGE: Seems like we need to…buy ourselves some time.
JACK: I like the way you think, Quills.
REDGE: Hitting the watch and projecting goblin disguise in 3…
JACK: 2…
REDGE: 1!
(Sound of a hologram powering on)
REDGE: Your goblin disguise is perfect! Down to the little tool belt!
JACK: I like your ball cap and sunglasses!
REDGE: A disguise on top of the disguise…superior spy stuff!
JACK: Ready to go?
REDGE: Hold on, I need to get into character. My goblin’s name is Stewart Hobglob and he likes to collect buttons, and just in case anyone asks, his sister’s name is–
JACK: Redge, we should probably hop through here before time on these disguises runs out!
REDGE: Oh right! Of course. In we go…
JACK (As Goblin): Nice weather we’re having, Stewart Hobglob!
REDGE (As Goblin): Quite, quite…(as an aside) You never decided on a goblin name!
JACK: (as an aside) Uhh….Bob?
REDGE: The weather has been rather sunny, Bob.
JACK: Quite, quite.
GOBLIN: Hey! You there!
JACK: (As an aside) Just keep walking…
GOBLIN: Did you just say Stewart Hobglob?
REDGE: Doo doo doo. I’m just walking. Doo doo doo.
JACK: (As an aside) Psst. Redge! He’s talking to you. We should probably stop.
REDGE: OH! Right! Uh. Yes! The name is Stewart.
GOBLIN: What do you think you’re doing?
JACK: We’re just…delivering something to the boss.
REDGE: Yes! Nothing to see here…
GOBLIN: I can’t believe you thought you’d get away with it…
REDGE: Err…what?
GOBLIN: Going your entire birthday without us singing the goblin birthday song!
(The sound of goblin cheers)
REDGE: SUCCESS!
JACK: They didn’t suspect a thing.
REDGE: I can’t believe there is actually a Stewart Hobglob that works on this ship. And it’s his birthday!
JACK: Who would have thought?
REDGE: Now the main lab on the ship is just down this hall.
JACK: Alright, let’s get to it!
BULL DOZER: Do you see it Gryph? That marvelous golden path stretching out before Labriynth.
GRYPH: Yeah, boss. It’s shiny.
BD: Shiny indeed! Leading us right to the Very Big and Very Secret Book of Unicorn Magic. Do you know what this means?
GRYPH: Yeah boss!
BD: Do you KNOW how much power I will wield when I get my hands on that book?
GRYPH: Infinite power, boss! Power over all of Legend Lake!
BD: First Legend Lake…but then…
GRYPH: The forest around Legend Lake?
BD: Think bigger. We’re going to take over all of Once Upon a Time! (Evil laugh)
JACK: It’s an interesting plan, but I’m not so sure you’ve thought everything through.
BD: Jack!
JACK: Hey, Bull Dozer. Good to see you.
BD: How did you get into my top-secret flying lab facility?
JACK: A little laser here, a projected disguise there, you know how it is. Why? You aren’t happy to see us?
BD: Us?
REDGE: DOUBLE-OH-QUILLS SNEAK ATTACK! (Sound of Redge leaping in the air) And swipe! Got the tie, Jack!
BD: Gryph! Get that hedgehog!
GRYPH: You got it boss!
(A brief chase scene ensues.)
BD: AHA! You thought you would get away but Gryph has got you by the paws. Hang them over the hatch, Gryph!
GRYPH: You got it boss!
REDGE/JACK: Woooah!
BD: What are you going to do now, hm? We have the tie and it seems like you’re in a bit of a pickle.
JACK: More temporary setback I believe.
REDGE: Do you expect us to give up?
BD: No, Mr. Quills. I expect you to fly!
GRYPH: Now boss?
BD: Release them, Gryph!
REDGE/JACK: Ahhhhhhh! (Grows seemingly quieter as Redge and Jack fall)
BD: (Evil laugh) Those fools! They thought they could sneak into my lair and outsmart me?! Now, let's get back to the lab to plan for unicorn magic book extraction.
GRYPH: You got it, boss!
(The sound of propellers that get increasingly louder)
GRYPH: Huh? What’s that sound?
BD: No, it couldn’t possibly be…
JACK: Hello there fellas!
REDGE: So we meet again, Bull Dozer.
BD: A propeller hat!
JACK: Like I said…dropping us through the hatch was a temporary setback. NOW AGENT QUILLS!
REDGE: DOUBLE-OH-QUILLS SNEAK ATTACK TAKE TWO! (Sound of Redge leaping in the air)And swipe! Got the tie again, Jack!
JACK: I’ve got the pencil!
BD: What? Do you think you can erase our plans with a simple pencil?
JACK: Oh, Agent Kit packed this pencil with very fun tools. Like this bath bomb.
BD: Oh I am so scared! You’re going to make the lab squeaky clean! How frightening!
(A cartoony sound of lots of bubbles forming out of thin air and burbling water, and the sound of a distant alarm)
EMERGENCY ALERT VOICE: Warning, high levels of bubbles have breached the ship’s hull. All systems will be overloaded in one minute. Evacuation protocols have now been initiated. Repeat. Evacuation protocols have now been initiated.
GRYPH: Boss! The ship is filling with soap and bubbles! And all the goblins are rushing away in their Gob Pods!
VARIOUS GOBLINS: See ya later! Bye! We’re outta here!
BD: No! Curses! Foiled again! They’ve used every escape pod! How will we get off this sinking ship?!
GRYPH: Well boss–
BD: It’s impossible! There’s no way out!
GRYPH: Uh boss–
BD: Those foolish secret agents!
GRYPH: You know the benefit of being a griffin is that I can fly.
BD: What?! Why didn’t you say something before? Let’s get outta here.
REDGE: See you later Bull Dozer!
BD: Oh you will Mr. Quills! You two may have gotten us this time, but we will meet again!
JACK: Excellent job, Agent Quills! Ready to head back to the ground?
REDGE: It seems our work here is done! Let's jet!
JACK: And we’re down!
REDGE: WE DID IT! The golden tie has been secured!
JACK: Unicorn magic is saved! Did you see their faces when we flew back to the ship?
REDGE: I knew we had them! Even when they thought they had us!
JACK: You’re an excellent agent, Redge. I hope you will consider coming out on another mission sometime soon.
REDGE: I don’t know…secret spy gadgets, stealthy plans to get onto secret lairs, super special spy suits…of course! HOW COULD I PASS THAT UP?
JACK: We’ll know who to call when Bull Dozer shows up on the scene again.
REDGE: Marvelous!
JACK: But for now…how about a round of chocolate milk on me?
REDGE: Shaken, not stirred.
JACK: The best way to enjoy chocolate milk, Quills. The only way.
JONATHAN CORMUR: This has been a Jonincharacter production. Today’s story was written and produced by Molly Murphy and performed by Jonathan Cormur. Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studios. Reach out to us on Instagram or email us at dorktalesstorytime@gmail.com. Find links in the show notes or go to dorktalesstorytime.com. Now, go be the hero of your own story and we’ll see you next once-upon-a-time!
THEME SONG: So gather your squad for all to see. It's a universe that we've imagined. There's twists and turns and lessons learned. This is where the unexpected happens. Join our humble hosts and hit the trails of the wonderful, wacky, wild world of Dorktales.
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